Free Books lol

Can't wait for next summer!!!

I'm desperately need to escape from this routine.

Don't know how long I can stand facing books and exams huhu.

By the way, my big bro has an extra copy of hannibal, silence of the lambs, grisham's runaway jury and the rainmaker and the best part is that he is giving me all of em!!!

Good thing I haven't buy any of these books yet.

Get A Taste Of John Grisham

I was looking for a novel and found this. So I guessed it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, never read any of his books before. Hopefully worth reading...

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris

Have you ever bought such thick novels which burned a whole in your pocket, but in turned bored you to death???
Well to be honest that always happens to me.
Then, my big sis suggested me to read Thomas Harris novels which I found hard to resist.

The story is based on a psychological investigation by an Ex-FBI agent, Will Grahame in bringing down a serial killer who has brutally torture and bite his victims to death.
The author introduced a strong character in this novel, Doctor Hannibal Lecter, a psychoanalist whom is prisoned for killing and practising cannibalism. Lecter's evil plot is brought down by Grahame and this made him one of the best agents there is.
The killer or Tooth Fairy secretly seeks help of Lecter in finding his victims and planning his next moves. He is obsessed with a myth called Red Dragon and believes that killing married women is the only way towards becoming a part of the myth.
After several cases af massive murders, he met a girl and beginning to doubt his actions. But his obsessions wouldn't let him go...
On the other hand, Grahame had no choice but to seek for second opinion from his old friend, Lecter in trying to figure out the clues left by Tooth Fairy.

Rating - 4/5
Worth Reading!!!

Third Year

Phew...what a night. I can hardly get myself on my feet.
But I think the pain is even worse as I gave a quick glance around the house...
Gosh..what a mess!!! We definitely had a new year party alright.

But then I realised how much I had gone through to be this far.
I got to admit this isn't exactly what I expect it to be.
Living in Egypt, with dust, overcrowding population and sampah everywhere...etc etc
The stinking look they gave and ridiculous rent we had to pay each month.

I just can't imagine how I had managed to survive in these two miserable years.
And yet, there's still four years of never ending misery ahead sob2
To be honest, my brain is a freaking time bomb that is about to explode at any time.
Please...no more exam for now. Why oh why do they have to make it this soon...
I reckon this coming exam definitely gave me a wake up call for me to get back on track.

My wish goes to all 3rd year students...best of luck for this upcoming mid term exam!!!

Selamat Hari Raya

Hari Raya Aidil Fitri...ni la hari yang aku tunggu2 selepas sebulan puasa n solat terawikh..
Sebut je pasal hari raya..mesti semua orang teringatkan kampung, baju raya, duit raya dan ketupat rendang..aku pun tak terkecuali la.
Tapi umur aku dah 20, dah terlajak pun nak kutip duit raya.
So this raya its all about getting together with family and friends and asking for their forgiveness.
Maaf Zahir dan Batin

So Much For Being Serumpun

When you are watching Indonesian drama like bawang merah bawang putih...
you do realise that our language is almost the same
But be careful over some words because the meanings are totally different in Bahasa Indonesia
Ok for example...here I list down some words in BM and translated to B.Indon
Pardon my French, but you got to know this. So funny...better watch what you are saying when talking to them

banci - homoseks
berbual - berbohong
bontot - ekor
kakitangan - ahli kongsi gelap
seronok - bitchy

Summer Break

Yeay.. summer break!!!
I'm back again in Taiping...its good to see my folks again.Can't believe there are so much changes happened since I left.
We even got new cats and some renovation around the house.

This time, I'm visiting my sisters at Melaka, Kuantan and Mersing.
I hope they can distract my head from thinking of the exam.
Let just say that its like getting away from the stress of a year struggling with books,exams....

Final Exam

I've gone through 3 papers throughout this week with sleepless nights and perhaps dozens of hot coffee.
But next week is even 'better'
I'm going to sit for anatomy, physiology and pharmacology exams
wawaaa....
Personally these are the killer subjects for this semester
there is so much to study but with little time to struggle.

Neverthless, I'm having a great time indulging chocolate and
anything that is salty and full of fat after each exam.
Haha its like liberating myself from a long, agonizing suffer...
I just feel great eating those 3000calories of double cheese burger or 200calories of milk shake
which will probably going to stick directly to my butt.
I don't care a shit about it anyway....

Dixie Chicks Rawks

Miles Away - Madonna

What It Feels Like For A Girl

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

A man who knows chivalry is definitely knows how to treat ladies right
But never underestimate for what they are capable of...

Serious OCD Girl

Home Cattery

Our moggies locked up in cages!

He sweeps

He dusts...

I can assure you that abah is the best cat owner in the world...
His daily routine starts with feeding his cats and ends with taking them to bed.
Really, he sleeps with his favourite cats.

Notice that there are cages for the cats to sleep at night...
We probably can make a dough with providing the cleanest cattery in Malaysia hahaha

Perfectionist or OPD

It has been quite a while I haven't blogging...honestly I'm bored and have nothing to say.

Its summer again and my final exam is coming sob3, and my 20th birthday is a day before the exam. Try to put yourself in my shoes, can you imagine how unlucky I am to celebrate my birthday in the utmost stressfull atmosphere. One way or another, I demand for my birthday party and gifts hahaha...

Speaking about summer, I've been thinking about how's my mum and dad been doing right now..can't wait to be back in Malaysia.
My mum had minor fractures at her wrist when she accidentally fell at her old friends' house. The fracture is not serious. The doc only put on a bandage and she'll be in perfect health in no time.

I wonder what abah been up to right now. My sister said that we have OCD or obsessive compulsive disorder running in our family. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that we are mentally retarded or crazy, its just a term given to a person who always have unwanted thoughts and tend to repeat a certain behaviour over and over again. In simpler word, paranoid or perfectionist.

It can happen to every normal person that you met. The person might have obsession with hygiene and spend hours washing her hands fearing that she is not clean enough or contaminated. These thoughts might get worse and change her life completely. Still doesn't get it, why don't you watch Monk, a tv series about the life of a detective having OCD after losing he wife.

Cleaning is a must in our family. My dad spends half of the day cleaning the house and his cats while my sister is just too organise in everything. She even helped me packed my luggage and shopped for my personal stuff before flying for egypt hehe.

FYI, abah wouldn't let us wash the dishes because he thinks that we could never wash them as clean as he did. Hehe thats why I hate basuh pinggan so much, never used to it.

Unfortunately, I inherit his OCD trait too. I spent hours in the toilet scrubbing my back and paranoid with carrying too much cash in my bag. I can't help checking the contents of my bags when I'm out in the public, after tired of unzipping the bag, I will clutch to it tightly untill I'm safely back at home.

I hate drawing tables with uneven lines and wasting my time measuring the columns and rows. I always prepare overcooked vegies for my friends. There's nothing more irritating than filling forms or important documents because I can't help seeking assurance and approval repeatedly from everyone. Sometimes there's guilt inside me for having doubts in them, sorry guys...I can't help it.

The thing is that OCD patients are constantly having thoughts, images, impulses about how contaminated and unprotected they are, and the only way to clear their mind is by replacing with other thoughts or action.
My mum must have the heart of an angel for being able to put up with our craziness hahaha...

A Week From Hell

Dear blog,

This week will be a week from hell because I will sit for my midterm exam this saturday. I hate when I have to appreciate every minute I have studying for this exam. Tak suke...!!!
Why oh why it always have to be last minute study...

By the way, I had a short chat with my eldest sis 2 days ago. She said she still having the abdominal pain...

Meet Safina Massicks

Dear Blog,
Meet my eldest sister...Safina Massicks Kamaruddin.
She's on the right, giving the best post in the early morning of Eid Fitr..

Fight Against Tumour

How would you feel if someone told you that you are having a life threathening disease...perhaps a cancer. I'm pretty sure that most of us will cry to death...thinking about how short our life will be.

But that is not going to happen to my eldest sister, Safina who has undergo a surgery to remove a large benign tumour in her uterus. It all started when she began to feel her tummy is lopsided and bigger, she decided to clear any doubts by going for physical examination at government hospital.

Unfortunately, the doctor failed to reach any diagnosis and asked her to lose some weight so that the result will better.
Nonsense laa...unsatisfied with what the doctor said, my sis went to a private hospital Ampang Puteri for further examination.

The pathology report revealed everything...the 2nd doctor broke the horrible news that she had leiomyoma in her uterus, and the worst part is that they have to remove her uterus too!
Poor sis, the news was like a thunder striking right onto her face... she broke into tears the moment she heard the news...ThankGod her hubby bunny is not out of town.

I wish I was there to comfort her...But she is stronger than I thought. A week after that, I got an sms from her saying that she will undergo a surgery to remove the tumour, Alhamdulillah the uterus can be saved.

Now she is back at school while still having the post operative pain... I couldn't picture myself in her place...having tumour can give us a new perspective about life and people around us.
Sis...you are definitely my very own wonderwoman haha...wait till I return home, really miss ya!

Have a Faith

Trust thyself and thee shall see the path

There was a day when I felt really down and devastated for losing faith
in people I always believed in. I thought that person had betrayed me by
deliberately accusing me for what I'm not. At first, I can't think of anything
except to curse in every breath. But then, I think how foolish
I am acting this way. To hell with what they want to say...By the way it
wasn't the 1st time I faced this kind of people...Then I found out that this is
just a rumour...buat penat je aku sedih...sorry guys for this misunderstanding.

Its the same old story, about me getting bored with books and spending
too much time on bed. Its like a deadly virus which grow in me every day.
I wonder if there is any possibility of me finding the cure for this
future threatening disease.

So, that day I came out with this quote. Trust Thyself And Thee Shall See

The Path. How does it sound? Not bad huh hahahaha. I always love how
classic literature kept me puzzled with riddles and rhymes. Trying to be the
cunning Miss Shakespere haha. Anyway, this phrase means that we must
have a faith in every step we make in our life,
faith to Allah SWT and ourselves. When you lose everything, it is the faith
that keep you back on track...

Hari Yang Best

dear blog tersayang,

hari ni memang la hari yang best bagi aku
result sem 1 kali ni boleh wat aku kena heart attack
kalau nak dibandingkan ngan usaha aku yang tak sebanyak mana
aku rasa aku deserve result camni huhu
tapi part yang best aku pass semua paper...alhamdulillah
adey bila nak insaf ni...

sekian...

Renjis-renjis Dipilis

Kepada follower aku yg setia hehe, meet my very 1st sister in law
Mazliani or better known as Kak Leen.
Now she's a new member of the family.
Apparently, my second brother, Abang Razif got married when I was in
1st year far away from home, that means I will never see him bersanding
unless he is intending to marry again, ye la ade 3 lagi position kan.
But her wife is insanely cute, so I'm 120% sure that he will not find another
woman in his life.

These are their wedding pictures, the 1st one is at the bridegroom's wedding
at my house, and 2nd is at the bride's wedding.
Watch carefully... you can see that pak cik 2 orang tu sebenarnya
kembar.
My dad is at the left and his twin is on the right.

Strong Medicine

Dulu2 aku budak sekolah lagi, poket kering, letih aku kipas mak mintak fulus
tapi tak lepas.
Nak beli novel tapi kind of costly for me, each cost me about 50 and above,
so i change my mind and go for buku sewa haha.

One day I came across this book and decided to give it a try. Memang best giler,
thriller and romance all in one. Tapi aku tak berape suka romance la, meleleh sgt.
Actually, it is about an elegent, strong, smart, woman, Celia Jordan who managed
to put herself at the top of career but at the same time, juggling
between her work and family.

This novel is about drug making industries and ethical issues they have to face
along the way. After reading this book, you will see that medical findings and
miracle drugs are not without their cost.
Perhaps there are people who recklessly sees every breakthrough as opportunity
to hit the jackpot...here, bribery and fraud take place...

The author, Arthur Hailey has done a good research on pharmaceutical industry
before writing it down.
He has his own way of describing the characters and expressing ideas strongly.
This novel is definitely well written and highly recommended for you to read.

Memoirs Of A Geisha

Summer holiday will not be complete without reading novels from my sisters.
Last summer back at malaysia, I read Memoir of Geisha which is based on the
life of an ordinary peasant girl named chiyo san transforming into an elegent,
beautiful lady.
It all started when her farther sold her for slavery. His action is aim for better life
instead of endless poverty.

But then, she was taken to a school of geisha which definitely change her life.
This book is beautifully written, the author described her feelings and setting
vividly as if entering her world.

She learned to love someone she almost couldn't have, and found her way
struggling for survival and dignity.
However, she discovered that being a geisha is not just about entertaining,
but also a symbol of beuty, lust, pride and vengence.
At the age of 16 I think her virginity was sold at highest price, which placed
her as one of the famous geisha is japan.

Try to read it, this story tells us a lot about japanese culture during early
1920's. You will be surprise how geishas compete to survive among themselves.

Nostalgia Budak Hingusan 2

Ladies and gentlemen...meet my sis, kak maya...
umo 23, awek dah berpunya
Siyes aku rindu gle kat die skang ni...sob3

Nostalgia Budak Hingusan

Semua orang penah lalui ups and downs dalam hidup,
kekadang tu kite jatuh tersungkur sampai susah sangat nak bangun balik
Kalau diri lemah, tertinggal la kat belakang...

Lately aku rase teringat pulak cerita zaman muda2 dulu
Prinsip idop aku senang je
Berani buat Berani tanggung
Memang berani mati la kalau pakai slalu
Biasa la tu muda lagi mesti nak cuba sume benda

Sampai skang aku pkai prinsip tu
Except idup aku ni da bosan la...da mellow
Rindu nostalgia zaman sekolah sob2....

Angel - Sarah Mclachlan

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

This is one of my favourite songs by Sarah Mclachlan.
Its about a person who faces the biggest challenge in his life alone.
Unfortunately, he resort into drugs, heroine I think, not really sure about this.
Try to imagine you are in his place, it can be a lonely place even though you
are surrounded by the people you love.
When things just too much to bear, your life messed up.
From this song what he really wanted to do is to be distracted away from
his problem, everything and perhaps living
as a different person.


Try to reflect this in your life, I'm sure everyone has been there before...

The Beginner

Today is the day i started creating this spanking new blog. To be honest, I'm not really into this, everything seems to be far more difficult than answering last term pharmacology exam .I'm afraid I'll bored people to death just by reading this. But on second thought, I'd like to give it a try since I have nothing to do at home besides eating and snoring.

FYI, I spent hours just to figure out the name of this blog. Phew...at last here it is, Fumbling Towards Ecstacy! I picked up this phrase from album title of Sarah Mclachlan, my fave female singer. There's still a long way to go, I still need to customize this blog which of course going to take longer than this time.

By the way, next week is my very 1st mid term exam for this semester, I think it really gives me shiver and cold feet for the whole week. Banyak gile kene bace....adoi la macam mane ni....I guess I'll just have to sacrifice my 6 hours sleeping like a baby for the sake of exam. Its my fault anyway, sape suruh tak study awal2...!!! sob2


Till then...lol